i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
