my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize