if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
