hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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