she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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