Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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