well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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