Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize