So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
kristin has been a bad kristin
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
