i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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