Porn is love you can see.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Randomize
