Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
