You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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