dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
the condom got lost in my hair
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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