I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
