Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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