i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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