So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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