With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
