***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
