Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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