"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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