We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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