I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
