three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
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I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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