And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
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does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
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It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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