If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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