we're blogging at a bar
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
