Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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