Having a random hookup so left but love u
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
