Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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