I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
