did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
