How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
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