5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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