Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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