I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
