He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
