Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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