i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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