Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just had sex on a roof
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
