he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think people are normalizing furries
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
