this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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