I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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