Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is Oprah even human
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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