Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
