Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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