If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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