Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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