He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I want to be your penis for a week.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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