I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
