The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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