Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
