We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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