the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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