did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
