we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
