Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
