Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize