I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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