As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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