It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
