you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
