It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
