How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
this just has baby written all over it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
