i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
