u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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