Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
