He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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