I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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